inner balance

Finally, it's year of the piggies! wooh. my friend 'mau' just confronted me last friday that sagittarian people are lucky this year. hmp. "hunto ni?" i just thought. i don't merely believe with "luck" without you, yourself instead working on it. that's so vulnerable when you just get wedged through it, right? hmp. i just think so. hehe

the Inner Balance…

First, Your intimate relationship

A warm, supportive, nourishing and loving relationship with that significant other, will substantially contribute to your inner balance and happiness. Be careful, however, not to bet all your money on this one pillar alone, while neglecting the others! If your happiness depends completely on your relationship, then you are taking a big risk: what will you do when your partner is gone? When that significant other leaves, dies, or loves somebody else, your entire life will collapse because you have nothing else to support you. Don’t link your happiness to just one person! -It's all about the entirety of our well being, that having him around is enough to complete our inner strength to get thru with our other activities.

.

Second, Your job

A meaningful job where you can express your talents is a valuable source of well being. However, what would happen if you put all of your time and energy in your job, and then some day your employer dismisses you? Your world will fall apart and you are headed for a serious depression. Does it feel like you are married to your job? It is too dangerous to entirely identify yourself with your job without paying attention to the other pillars. You are much more than your business card! -Time would always be of the essence in everything that we do. We don't need a remote control for us to spare sometime, but it's gonna be all about "time management". We can always have a luxury of time as much as we wanted to...

Third, Your children

God knows it’s a wonderful gift to have children. But what happens if you focus too much on your children? A parent who lives only for his children will suffocate them. He puts too much pressure on the child, which then feels obliged to live up to the parent’s expectations. The child may feel solely responsible for fulfilling the need for love and affection of the parent. This is a burden too heavy for any child to bear, and it jeopardizes the child’s free development and individuality. One day the children will leave to start their own life somewhere else. If your children are your only pillar of happiness, then your whole world will fall apart. What’s left is emptiness, depression, dependency, and trying to make the grown-up children feel guilty for not caring enough about their parents. Don’t take your kids hostage. They are entitled to a life of their own. -Having them around (i mean children) will always leave us the sense of responsibility. although i haven't got one yet, i know that by my parents, as they've raised me, will somehow giving me enough duty to take the risk that they bear while on the stage that we were a grown ups. i know that one day, we'll gonna payback the goodness in heart that they've shared to us. they may sometimes commit a mistake but for me, my parents are a good exemplary to put on hold for my future at stake. they will always stand as my techie in life, in loving, and experiencing sorrows and pain. we can always correct what has been erroneosly done... but once is enough if you think you are smart.

Fourth, Your house and material possessions

Creating and enjoying a beautiful house brings a lot of pleasure into your life, but what are the dangers of making property your most important life goal? When it’s all about having, buying and possessing “stuff,” the only guarantee you have is that of dissatisfaction. You don’t know how much stuff you need to possess before you will find peace, and therefore you will never find it. There is no end to “having”. As long as you are convinced you need to have things in order to be happy, you will be restless and a slave of your own attitude. Being rich is okay, of course, but it should not be a goal in itself, otherwise you are doomed to be unhappy, always waiting until you possess another car, another house, more money, more stuff, … Not a good recipe for happiness! -It's all about living within your means. you cannot have all possessions in this world at once. it's gonna be "satisfaction"... a self-fulfilling activity that you love but too much of it will result to greediness... greediness that soon will result to "sinful deeds" that soon will be impossible to bear like losing our love ones. it's good to have everything but there would always be a way on how to control it... remember, we are living a ME experience, in depths of our soul, we know what we are doing because we, ourselves, are somehow the engine of our own ego. if it's unbearable, remember God is always around...

Fifth, Meditation

Meditation is good, you say! Of course it is! But what if all you do is meditate, and hope everything will be fine? You will get not much satisfaction or happiness that way. You will feel useless and restless. Your body needs action, and your energy needs a goal to strive for, so that it can flow through your veins and direct your life. Meditation only will get you nowhere. There’s more to life! -just like a song that sings... "We may say I'm a dreamer... " or "Dream, the impossible dream..." well yeah, anything will always be possible if you kept on believing but of course "doing" it. we would not reach the highest peak of the mountain without exerting our muscles thru climbing, right? just like on our dreams, on the middle of our thoughts, hopes and reflections, it's good to have it, but it would be more appreciable if we'll do it gradually but of course in a sense that we love and enjoy the risk that you know would probably infiltrates. just don't be a prisoner on your own desires... wake up now and as what Buddha kept us be reminded of to... live, love, and laugh.

And Sixth, Your friends

Good friends are essential. They are the pepper and salt that give taste to life. They share your experiences and make them worth living. They give you feedback and back you up when you need help. But what if you need to share everything with them? They have their own life, their own experiences to live. Relying on friends for every single thing you do is a ticket for disaster. You need to be able to sometimes do things by yourself. If your friends leave you or break up with you, and they are everything your life is built upon, then your world will fall apart. -hmp, having them around, as i've said, is like a television show. we can always change channels, but we always ended up to same channel to what we like most. some friends come and just go that we may lost connection, but the memoirs once shared will always be there. how i am really grateful to have "few" friends on the road to love and bein loved as well. they seemed play a great role in my life cause without them, life would really be so dull, so pathetic, and gross... there would be no buzz on the road. haha i have no one to laugh out with up to the non-sense point. wooh. hehe i just love my friends. i somehow owe my life to them...

I think you are getting my point: every pillar is good and a valid source of energy and happiness, but it’s dangerous to rely too heavily on only one of them. Leaning on your relationship too much makes you dependent on the other. Identifying with your job too much transforms you into a workaholic. Chasing after material possessions makes you a materialist. Relying on your kids too much suffocates them. Thinking meditation will fulfil all your needs makes you an isolated stranger. Relying on your friends too much makes you a needy person, always turning to somebody else for rescue.

.

You have a good job? Great, but do take time to play with your kids, to spend some romantic time with your partner, to go out and have fun with your friends, to take care of your house and to meditate.

You are a meditation fan? Don’t forget to clean the house, to help the kids with school, to do your job, to meet your friends and to listen to your partner when he comes back from work.

You invest a lot of time and energy in your house and other material possessions? Fine! Just don’t forget to spend some time with your children, your partner, your friends, enjoy your work and meditate!

You are committed to freedom and friends? Ok, no problem! Now balance your life by taking some time to experience the inner silence, to play with your kids (or somebody else’s), to invest in a particular loving relationship (even if it scares you), to take care of your house and possessions and to excel at your job.

.

You love someone and that person loves you back? Great! Now don’t forget about your friends, your job, your children (or someone else’s), your house and your inner silence, if you want this relationship to last!

Imagine a peace temple, built on six pillars. If your personal peace temple is supported by one pillar only, then surely the first tornado that comes along will bring it all down! Too dangerous!

The stability of your temple depends on the support of all of these. If one of the pillars is temporarily out of service, nothing catastrophic will happen because you still have the five significant others to carry you on.

If you lose your job, but you still have five other solid pillars to hold you up, you will find the strength to find a new job. Your children are leaving the house? No panic! You still have five other pillars to support your temple! One of your friends has let you down? Your significant other has left you? You have to leave your house? You will be able to handle all of this, if you can revert to other pillars that continue to support you.

Don’t build your happiness on one pillar, but invest in the solid combination of all six of them. Everybody knows about the importance of a balanced diet, as well as the danger of an overdose! In the same way, your inner peace depends on your ability to find the right balance between all of these.

.

Hope these helps.

♥Ash