Be gone by the summer wind
Remember the saying, be careful of expressing what you don’t like because it might just fall onto your lap just when you least expect it to happen? Well I guess it got to me.
Together with summers scorching heat, that certain feeling came (I think it was Love but I’m quite apprehensive to label it as such.) Love’s blushed beckoned and it was too late when I realized that I willed myself to be seduced to its searing finiteness. It came like a wild flower, growing in the midst of a blooming friendship; a dew on a budding rose, mornings first light cascading into our room, a simple glace that meted a warm smile and started the first hello. Serendipity? It must be!
There he was sixty kilometers away from me. We had a few good laughs over some things and it was enough to get us talking. It was like yesterday and the ‘morrows meeting on the present; March and December bridged by the preceding February; a linking of two souls to usher a budding friendship.
We talked joked, exchanged opinions and other observations. We were as different as night and day, but common pursuits and similar passions shoved as to meet in the middle. Ours had the makings of a good friendship and we were closed of being best buddies. But friendship became a blur as I was seized with what-ifs and what-could-have-been from him. Already he has fallen and I became confused.
He was almost perfect sweet, smart, mature, caring and brimming with humor. Almost perfect! but not quite because perfection does not exist. If it does then pain would be synonymous to bliss. To have him won’t be right, but to Love him is not wrong either.
And so ‘tis head I chose to heed and I avoided the delicate trappings of that certain feeling, which now I’m definite its love. We could have continued being friends, but fate destined with March’s end come his goodbye, and so I let him into a secret. Goodbye’s failed to make me cry.
It was another bruises that is yet to heal, as another gash on an already they thought a bleeding heart. I tripped and would have suffered a bad fall, that my well-scarred knee failed to bend and cushioned the fall. And so I was hurt, my pride did! But I wouldn’t want him to know.
People have been walking in and out of my life, sometimes slamming the door right onto my face and every time, it hurts- a lot. It was awful enough that I knew how a sprained heart felt, and then he came and splintered it into a pile of powdery tissue by uttering the seven letter word GOODBYE.
So I was left to wonder if it would be possible for a heart that suffered a lot to be whole again. Well, I guess so. It has happened before, for many different reasons, now is no different. After all, these too will pass.
I might as well get used to it. Be thankful and feel blessed for the few souls who have chosen to stay, friends who kept me afloat, and kept me in their hearts. It was a comforting thought, a phrase well said, but not enough to soothe the fragmented pain that has fractured my heart. Maybe after the pain has lapsed.
I wanted to scream but no voice, nor any kind of sound croaked out of my throat. I wanted to text, to write and put into words the hurt that has been reverberating inside my cranium, sending echoes into crevices I have forgotten to exist. But no words came out as I struggled with my pen.
I am seized with a wailing that screamed in every pore of my body. I tried to exhale the bottled hurt that has snuggled at the pit of my stomach but it refused to be plucked just as easily. And so in the deepened shadows of our room, I almost stifled my cries.
The streaming tears that might stain my already pallid face did little to quell the incessant throbbing of my heart. Summer’s heat blistered me too well…left me burnt, shaken, but just enough to survive.
The beauty of the feeling filled my heart with bliss, so brief that I barely had the chance to cup it in my hands and feel the fluttering of its magical wings. It was pure joy, Fleeting, Brief, Enchanting…
Love took me on a momentary flight, but left me a moment to cherish. In the pockets of my mind, it has found its place. In the chambers of my heart, it has carved its niche, and in my solitude has named its silence.
It brought me tears but left a smile on my lips, faith in my judgment and hope in my heart that maybe; I’d meet love again at the road’s next bend.
.
Together with summers scorching heat, that certain feeling came (I think it was Love but I’m quite apprehensive to label it as such.) Love’s blushed beckoned and it was too late when I realized that I willed myself to be seduced to its searing finiteness. It came like a wild flower, growing in the midst of a blooming friendship; a dew on a budding rose, mornings first light cascading into our room, a simple glace that meted a warm smile and started the first hello. Serendipity? It must be!
There he was sixty kilometers away from me. We had a few good laughs over some things and it was enough to get us talking. It was like yesterday and the ‘morrows meeting on the present; March and December bridged by the preceding February; a linking of two souls to usher a budding friendship.
We talked joked, exchanged opinions and other observations. We were as different as night and day, but common pursuits and similar passions shoved as to meet in the middle. Ours had the makings of a good friendship and we were closed of being best buddies. But friendship became a blur as I was seized with what-ifs and what-could-have-been from him. Already he has fallen and I became confused.
He was almost perfect sweet, smart, mature, caring and brimming with humor. Almost perfect! but not quite because perfection does not exist. If it does then pain would be synonymous to bliss. To have him won’t be right, but to Love him is not wrong either.
And so ‘tis head I chose to heed and I avoided the delicate trappings of that certain feeling, which now I’m definite its love. We could have continued being friends, but fate destined with March’s end come his goodbye, and so I let him into a secret. Goodbye’s failed to make me cry.
It was another bruises that is yet to heal, as another gash on an already they thought a bleeding heart. I tripped and would have suffered a bad fall, that my well-scarred knee failed to bend and cushioned the fall. And so I was hurt, my pride did! But I wouldn’t want him to know.
People have been walking in and out of my life, sometimes slamming the door right onto my face and every time, it hurts- a lot. It was awful enough that I knew how a sprained heart felt, and then he came and splintered it into a pile of powdery tissue by uttering the seven letter word GOODBYE.
So I was left to wonder if it would be possible for a heart that suffered a lot to be whole again. Well, I guess so. It has happened before, for many different reasons, now is no different. After all, these too will pass.
I might as well get used to it. Be thankful and feel blessed for the few souls who have chosen to stay, friends who kept me afloat, and kept me in their hearts. It was a comforting thought, a phrase well said, but not enough to soothe the fragmented pain that has fractured my heart. Maybe after the pain has lapsed.
I wanted to scream but no voice, nor any kind of sound croaked out of my throat. I wanted to text, to write and put into words the hurt that has been reverberating inside my cranium, sending echoes into crevices I have forgotten to exist. But no words came out as I struggled with my pen.
I am seized with a wailing that screamed in every pore of my body. I tried to exhale the bottled hurt that has snuggled at the pit of my stomach but it refused to be plucked just as easily. And so in the deepened shadows of our room, I almost stifled my cries.
The streaming tears that might stain my already pallid face did little to quell the incessant throbbing of my heart. Summer’s heat blistered me too well…left me burnt, shaken, but just enough to survive.
The beauty of the feeling filled my heart with bliss, so brief that I barely had the chance to cup it in my hands and feel the fluttering of its magical wings. It was pure joy, Fleeting, Brief, Enchanting…
Love took me on a momentary flight, but left me a moment to cherish. In the pockets of my mind, it has found its place. In the chambers of my heart, it has carved its niche, and in my solitude has named its silence.
It brought me tears but left a smile on my lips, faith in my judgment and hope in my heart that maybe; I’d meet love again at the road’s next bend.
.
.
PS: This piece was written by me(myself) last April 2005:
Ash
posted by ♥•ASHELY•♥ @ 2:49 PM
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